We’re off to the lank of Big F@#$ing Robots again with Michael Bay in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. But, should you roll out like the Autobots or retreat like the Decepticons? Read my review and find out Twenty-five years ago, the civil war between the Autobots and the Decepticons first invaded America. Twenty five years later, that war again invades Movie Theaters with the sequel to 2007’s smash hit Transformers, directed by Michael Bay, and produced by Stephen Spielberg.  Now, two years later, that duo, in addition to the talented screenwriters that crafted the first movie’s script, return to the world of that war in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

Here is a summary of the plot.

WARNING!! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!! WARNING!!

The film opens with a short prologue narrated by the voice of Optimus Prime. It depicts primitive human beings in the year 17,000 BC hunting a tiger, only to be interrupted by the appearance of The Fallen which begins to attack them. In the background, more Transformers can be seen constructing a gigantic device before the scene fades to black.

Two years after the events of the 2007 film, the Autobots have joined forces with the British and American military to form an organization named NEST to combat the Decepticons hiding out on Earth. Optimus Prime leads NEST into Shanghai, China, to eliminate Decepticons Demolishor and Sideways. He is joined by newcomers including Arcee, Sideswipe, Jolt and the twins Skids and Mudflap. Sideswipe kills Sideways with the help of Arcee and the twins, and Optimus and Ironhide kill Demolishor but not before the Decepticon utters that The Fallen will “rise again”.

American National Security Advisor Galloway berates the Autobots and NEST for the massive collateral damage they caused in Shanghai, and suggesting that the Autobots’ presence on Earth is the reason why the Decepticons keep their attacks on our planet. Galloway then questions Optimus Prime about whether the Autobots were to leave Earth if they were asked to, to which Optimus does agree to, although questioning what would happen if they did leave and the Decepticons didn’t.

Soundwave, a Decepticon intelligence officer, hacks into a satellite and discovers the location of Megatron’s corpse and the location of a piece of the AllSpark. Soundwave deploys his minion Ravage to retrieve the shard, which he succeeds in accomplishing by deploying hundreds of bug-like looking nanobots that group to form a single robot.

Meanwhile Ravage, Long Haul, Rampage, Mixmaster, and an unidentified Constructicon set out to rescue Megatron from the bottom of the Laurentian Abyss. After finding him, Ravage deploys a surgeon-robot named the Doctor, who revives Megatron using the piece of the AllSpark and parts obtained from the smaller unseen Constructicon, sacrificed at The Doctor’s request. Megatron flies to a Decepticon spacecraft on a planet, where he is reunited with air commander Starscream and The Fallen, Megatron’s master. The Decepticons are seen growing hatchling Transformers. However, these die immediately at birth due to insufficient energon, the energy source driving the Transformers. The Fallen intends to destroy the Sun and Earth in the process in order to create more energon.

Sam Witwicky prepares to head off to college, intending to live a normal life. Whilst packing, he finds another shard of the AllSpark which fills his mind with ancient Cybertronian text. The AllSpark fragment burns his hand, and through his room’s floor into the kitchen, bringing various appliances to life. The resulting robots are then destroyed by Bumblebee, wrecking the Witwicky family’s house in the process.

Sam entrusts the shard to his girlfriend Mikaela, who hides it in her father’s safe at the motorcycle workshop she works at. Decepticon Wheelie tries to steal it, but is captured by Mikaela, who catches him with some clippers and locks him into a toolbox she later takes with her.

At college, Sam meets his roommate Leo Spitz, who runs an alien conspiracy website, and a girl named Alice who makes disturbing advances on Sam. At a campus party, Sam again starts to get outbreaks of seeing Cybertronian text in his mind, and having the urge to write them on everything. Sam is noticed by Alice, who makes a move on him. Suddenly, a yellow Camaro is said to be parked on the lawn. Sam then goes out and is taken away by Bumblebee, along with Alice who uninvitedly gets into the car. During the trip, Bumblebee shows his discontent towards Alice. They eventually drop Alice and Bumblebee takes Sam to a cemetery, where Optimus tells him he needs Sam’s help. Sam says he wants a normal life and implies he won’t help Optimus.

Sam’s outbreaks with Cybertronian text continue and after one of such episodes in his astronomy class, he calls Mikaela and she comes to Sam’s aid, finding him being harassed by Alice after Sam painted a whole room full with Cybertronian symbols. Mikaela arrives and seeing the ongoing scene, she breaks up with Sam and leaves, but then Alice is revealed to be a Decepticon Pretender. Mikaela goes bak to help Sam, and Mikaela, Sam and Leo drive off in a car Mikaela hotwires, with Alice chasing them. Mikaela disposes of Alice, but while on the highway their car gets carried away by Grindor in his helicopter mode.

After Grindor drops them into a building, the trio gets confronted by Megatron, Starscream, Grindor and The Doctor. Sam is then immobilized by Megatron, and as The Doctor prepares to dissect Sam’s brain to get information on the location of a new energon signal, Optimus and Bumblebee arrive. Optimus then pursues Megatron to a nearby forest with Sam. Telling Sam to hide, Optimus soon realises it is a trap and is confronted by Megatron, Grindor and Starscream. Optimus takes on all of the Decepticons, killing Grindor and severing Starscreams arm. However, Optimus is impaled through the chest by Megatron and enters stasis lock in a near death state. The rest of the Autobots arrive on the scene and fend off the remaining Decepticons while Sam is evacuated by Bumblebee and the twins.

The Decepticons invade the planet, sinking an aircraft carrier upon their arrival. Soundwave hacks into all television signals to broadcast The Fallen demanding that Sam be surrendered. Meanwhile, Galloway shuts down NEST and Sam’s parents are captured by the Decepticons in Paris.

Sam, Mikaela, Leo, Bumblebee, Wheelie and the twins rendezvous in a remote location to hide Sam. Leo suggests seeking the help of his website rival “RoboWarrior”, who is revealed to be former Sector Seven Agent Simmons. Simmons reveals his hidden archive of alien research and explains the history of the Transformers on Earth. It is explained by Wheelie that the language Sam sees is of the Dynasty of Primes, the original seven Transformers who powered the AllSpark like a battery by destroying suns. Wheelie leads the group to the Smithsonian, where they find Jetfire, an old Seeker who joined the Autobots due to “personal choice”. When Wheelie hears Jetfire’s reason for changing sides, he too decides to join the Autobots. After getting updated on the situation, Jetfire uses a space bridge to teleport the group to Egypt.

Upon arrival, Sam injures his left hand while everyone else is ejected out of the space bridge in different directions. After everyone regroups, Jetfire explains that the Primes used the suns to power the AllSpark by using machines called Sun Harvesters, which uses the Matrix of Leadership as a key. The Primes, however, maintained that the Sun Harvester not be used in a star system with life forms. One of their own — now known as The Fallen — betrayed them, and sparked the war for the AllSpark. The other Primes defeated The Fallen and then sacrificed themselves to seal away the Matrix in a tomb hidden somewhere in the desert.

Through clues, the Matrix is found in Petra but it crumbles to dust in Sam’s hands. Nevertheless, Sam piles the dust into his sock. Simmons contacts Major William Lennox and his troops and asks them to bring the Autobots and Optimus’ corpse to Egypt so Optimus can be revived, a Prime being the only one capable of killing The Fallen. Lennox’s team arrives but so do the Decepticons. Leo, Simmons and the twins face off against Devastator, the combined form of several Constructicons, who scales a pyramid to uncover the Sun Harvester. Fortunately, Lennox’s superiors learn where the team has gone, detect the appearance of Decepticons and orders a full scale military operation to support Lennox and the Autobots. Devastator is ultimately destroyed by a rail gun round fired from a nearby destroyer on Simmons’ orders.

Bumblebee rescues Sam’s parents, killing both Ravage and Rampage, while two of Arcee’s bike modes are mortally wounded in the fight. Additional reinforcements are summoned, killing Long Haul, Scrapper and Hightower. However, Sam is caught in the attack and is severely injured by Megatron, entering clinical death. While in this state, Sam has a vision of the Dynasty of Primes. He then reawakens, telling Mikaela that he loves her just as the Matrix regenerates, and uses it to revive Optimus. However, before Optimus can be fully revived, The Fallen travels through a space bridge and takes the Matrix back out of Optimus’ spark.

After killing Mixmaster, Jetfire fights and kills Scorponok, but is mortally wounded. He then gives up his own spark and parts to Optimus, which are attached with the help of Jolt and Ratchet. Optimus uses his new strength to destroy the Sun Harvester and kill The Fallen with Megatron and Starscream making a tactical retreat.

The film concludes with Optimus proclaiming that the Transformers and humans now share an untold history and will combine their differences.

After a short flashback sequence, this film begins with the action sequence in Shanghai. This is a huge departure from the first film. Another major departure from the first movie is an increase in humor. In the first fim, most of the humor came from Bumblebee and his unusual mode of communication using sound clips from different radio stations. In this film, most of the humor coms from interaction between characters, most notably interaction between any of the characters and the Twins: Skids and Mudflap. The two wise cracking, profanity spouting characters are absolutely hilarious every time they are on screen, and you warm to them very quickly. This film carries the same nostalgic value as the first one, with the additon of several concepts central to the Transformers mythology, most notably the Matrix of Leadership. Also being introduced are several characters that made the top of the Most Wanted list: Soundwave, Jetfire, Ravage and the Constructicons. It was also fantastic to see the combined form, the massive Devastator, realized on screen. I have to admit, every time I hear Peter Cullen intone one of Optimus Prime’s lines, I can’t help but smile.

Also in this film, the humans have a bit more to do. Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox both shine in their second go around as Sam and Mikaela. The screenwriters found an ingenious way to cover for Shia’s hand injury. Also, Josh Duhamel and Tyrese’s military characters are fleshed out a bit more, risking their commissions to assist Sam in Egypt.

This film was the first film to be allowed to film at the actual Pyramids in Egypt and Luxor. In addition, the film was allowed to shoot on location at Petra in Jordan.

The film is loud and flashy  Full of amazing special effects. The characters all have quite a bit of personality and you end up caring about them all. On the minus side, the story is even more absurd than the first one and, at two and a half hours, it is probably two long.

The bottom line is, if you were a child of the 80’s and liked the first movie, you will probably love this one. If not, why are you even reading this?

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen gets 4 AllSpark shards out of 5.

For more information, visit the official site: www.transformersmovie.com.